to hang on promises..
oh dad i wish i could talk to you now. been trying to solve my own problems and be as cool-headed as i can but apparently i can’t. remember you told me long time ago that whenever i feel like it’s been too much, don’t just walk away? yes dad. i’m doing it your way but now i wonder where all my pride has gone. i wonder why i should ride on roller coaster while i already feel nauseous. i wonder why i have to eat all those broccoli and turnips while it taste so bland. i wonder why i have to keep on doing something that makes me weary. just because of stupid faith. goddarn faith. now i don’t even know what i’m hanging on to, because perhaps there isn’t any since the beginning. or maybe there is but it’s soo well-hidden. why something that makes you truly happy has to be this hard to get? or it’s only the satisfaction of the pursuit itself while the thing is not really that spectacular? oh God only knows.
lesson’s learned. all these quarrels are just not right.
