Mindbender

After 5 years 2 months and 2 days.

It was not me, i just stupidly convinced myself that i was the only diamond in the gallery, i was so young, so naive, totally inexperienced, everything i did involved love (yes people, you can puke!), and my world revolved around this stupid shit.. how daft and moron! I did not even love myself, i acted morosely, i could not even force myself to eat when the show was over, foolish me!

I spent more than 2.5 years devotedly making this crap as the gravity of my orbit, the object of my satellite, and spent more than 4 years afterwards loving the ruins, keeping the pieces of jumble, wallowing over my mistakes (which now i’m not sure whether it’s mine or his), rummaging the memories, hoping to turn back the time (which is so damn impossible, you fool!), the point is i was fucked! Screwed to the core.

I had new experiences but the gravity still pulled myself down, gosh it took ages to pull myself together from this unnecessary insignificant matter, the thing that i regret most was I DID NOT EVEN LOVE MY SELF, first years i even forgot my pride and dignity, i acted like an unconscious stupor, bugger!

Took damn ages.

To collect my complete bits, it’s like 1000 unorganised pieces of jigsaw puzzle scrambled in one box! now i am here, saying hell, what was i thinking?  how could i be so wrecked without even thinking of myself? not thinking that there would be a lesson in every hard time, not thinking that it could be a blessing in disguise. Sheesh i was young.

But now i know this self-destructing period is over, completely.

Thank God. Let it be one of the memories in my epic life. Let it be!

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 15th, 2006 at 5:06 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.